Sweet Thing and I just got off the phone.
He called about 4 am and it is now about 7 am.
We kinda caught up, had some long distance sex. It was fun you know, he sounds better.
Just before he went off line to go get his young one ready for school, I asked him if I was going to see him this weekend.
“I’m going to really try to pull that off.” He added that he really wanted to see me. The whole conversation and the sentiments he expressed made me warm down to my toes. I played as cool as I could; tried to anyway.
It was great, for the first time I felt like he was taking steps towards me and you know, he just sounded a lot less conflicted than he has in our last few conversations.
Again, I feel good about what’s happening between us. Don’t know if it’s going to settle soon or take a while, but I think I’m going to dig in for the ride. I still want to love him and be loved by him,,,, but you know, bit by bit I’ll bite off that fucking rat’s head off!!
My heart is filling in though…. my heart is eager for him no mater what my rational brain is coaxing, no matter my cautions to patience.
I am trying, but I desire, want him badly. I got a jones!! It’s bad…. come on! Read the shit I write about this man.
I want him to come to me and hold me, make love with me and fuck me, make a future together, make babies, build something out of our ambitions both separate and combined.
I think he’s the first man since Boobie, that I thought complements me in every way.
I remember he [Sweet Thing] said to me once, “You’re like my perfect ideal. The brain, the mouth, the ass, the skin, the whole thing.”
That was back before everything really changed between us.
It is not lost on me many of the thematic metaphors in our realitonship…. deep metaphors in this whole situation.