posted Fri, 01 Aug 2003 22:11:41 -0700
Yes I was wrong to mention my problems about the production flow on this project to people on my team.
It turns out though, that the person I thought was at the root of this problem, is actually a secondary character. The real problem was even closer to home.
Earlier this week, I spoke to my direct team member about the quality of the work that she was producing, her commitment level to the project and my problems that I need her to help me to address. She looked at me with a cold, distant gaze and smoothly left the discussion after I spoke to her about what I needed from her.
She then proceeded to use a discussion I had had with her two months ago, in which I mentioned all of the problems with the way the production team was producing the project, pointing areas where other team members were weak and showing her how to avoid the same errors, and went to another member of our team, and told her I said that she couldn’t do her job.
This has caused the young woman to pull out of the project all together and leave the entire undertaking with a distinct weakness.
This young lady claims to be a Christian, she has professed friendship to me and what is more, I have literally defended her job to my superiors because I thought she had potential.
For her to do this, is nothing short of stunning. I now have to go and make restitution to the offended girl and plead with her to stay with the project.
I am quite disgusted to be honest.
I am absolutely stunned by this immature girl’s behaviour.
My mind races over the may conversations with this girl, where I encouraged her and showed her how to get better. All the times I was understanding about her being sick and having to go to the doctor and being accommodating about her not being physically able to manage to some of the more strenuous requirements of the job.
I have calmed her in panic attacks and I have given her all kinds of support so she could actually get things done.
This is why this betrayal hurts as much as it does.
I defended her job to at least three separate superiors, where they wanted to get rid of her and I pleaded to give her a chance. For her to do this to me is stunning.
I am unsure now how to handle the situation. Should I send her home, should I work her ass off and demand excellence, should I force her to apologise to the girl and to me for her sneaky underhandedness?
I do not know what to do.
I thought this girl was my friend, but now I am beginning to realise I have no friends at work. I am alone. I find I do not think I can trust any one, because I do not know who is talking behind my back.
I know it just can’t be her.
I am so naive, I always believe the best about people, it always shocks me to discover that people can be real shits.
Today I actually went and thanked my somewhat anally retentive boss for his support. He has been a little annoying here and there, but he has been supportive of my efforts and has given me a lot of material to work with, if not the most accomplished staff. I felt I owed him that, because without some of the work and help that he offers me and this project, I would not make it through.