You always know which Mother I am talking about. Osun is Mama, my biolgoical mother is my Mummy.
Mummy has been one of the greatest advocates for change in my life. I mean, when I was young and my temper was intensely hot, when I couldn’t control my emotions, when I was in the deepest, blackest part of my life, where my fear had me in a stranglehold and didn’t seem to want to let go; my Mummy has always spoken to me about changing, changing myself so I could deal adequately with the situation.
I really didn’t understand or always trust her, because Mummy has been a serious pain in my ass. And I do not mean that in a nice way. She has struggled with her own shit and my brother and I were caught in that confusion and destructiveness, powerless as children are wont to feel. She has done a lot of selfish stuff that ended with us being inflicted with deep wounds I had to work to heal and yes, there was wounding. Deep wounding.
It was hard, but I know she did as she was equipped for and although she made terrible mistakes, she got a lot of things right.
Mummy though has been an interesting relationship from she said she has learned as much from me as I have from her. She has told me there were times when my wisdom shocked and helped her, and for that I am glad. Her wisdom has been my salvation as well.
I am just glad that we’ve stopped the screaming matches and juvenile hit and hit back kind of thing.
She doesn’t lose it like she did before, but then, neither do I. She and I have settled a lot of karma in this life.
She is coming for a visit this coming Friday.
I am so excited! I haven’t seen her for a year, and she’ll come and stay with me in my new house…. we’ll do our morning coffee ritual and we’ll knock around. I am looking forward to seeing her and as childish as it sounds, I’ll have her all to myself!!
I think it is good that our relationship has developed to the point that we are friends as well as mother and daughter.
See she will be my Ancestor one day, and my most loving Ancestor, so I will continue to work on building and healing our mutually inflicted wounds and encourage healing for the wounds the world inflicted.
It is true that the only way I think this can happen is if we don’t have to live in the same house, and preferably the same land mass, but it doesn’t mean that I am not sincere. My mother is a powerful woman and so am I, I think we can only take each other in small doses and with good distances between.
I love her though, she’s a sweetie… a real sweet woman and I am very proud that she is my Mami!