Yesterday, in the morning, although I didn’t want to, I forced my self to go to work. I pressed my clothes, a pretty white shirt and tight sexy black pants, put on my mouth, (a dramatic dark red; Revlon Absolutely Fabulous in #59, “Vixen”), and headed out.
I had a headache by the time I got into Port of Spain–the fumes from Eastern Main Road between San Juan and town was unbearable. Desperate , because I needed to get through work, I stopped in my regular drug store to get some pain killers, because not only was my shoulder aching, but my head was as well.
So there I am, swiping my card for a cache of Alleve, a huge bottle of water and candy; and up comes a youngwing.
To be more precise, one of the young ladies that participated in a workshop I facilitated back in July of last year, (See Public Speaker) came up to me and said hello. Now at first, although I remembered her face in a vague way, I had no idea who she was. However, she told me and paid me a great compliment.
In this shy way, she’s telling me that afterwards, they (the other participants) were talking and saying amongst themselves that they thought I was cool, and that my lecture was the best of the two day series. She told me I gave her a lot of ideas, and that she really enjoyed my session.
I’ve met three such youngwings in the last six months, and it’s a good feeling that they gained something from the experience. I mean, I got paid for my workshop, but they felt me and my message that day,
I also gave her a little more encouragement, and told getting herself a blog is a great way start getting the writing muscles into tone and keeping them toned; she took my card because I offered to read her writings if she had any. I told her that I need people to read my work, and that feedback loops are what really helps stories and ultimately writers to develop.
We chatted, she continued to flatter me. I was pleased when I left the drug store, and as I started walking towards the corner II have to make to get to work, I realised my headache had receded. Elisa may not know it, but she gave just enough energy to find a good mood before I walked up the steps.
So as I bubbled into work, I was singing to myself, “Keep swimming, keep swimming…” (Dory’s song in Finding Nemo.)
A couple hours later, I realised that next week’s production was already running itself and I was going to be able to advance work a whole day earlier than usual.
There I was, my assistant came up and there was this guy. Actually there were two of them, but the one I noticed was like milk chocolate with almonds. My assistant introduced them, and I said hello and the clever banter began. The guy, the one I noticed, said very little but I looked up a few times and he was looking at me.
So the other dude was the one my assistant had business with, so she left the hottie with me and went off to deal with that case, and the hottie asked her if he could sit in her chair–right next to me. She said, ‘Feel free,”and down he sat. He and I got our chat on.
After a few minutes, I realised for us to talk a little more freely, that was a good moment for a cigarette. We went downstairs to the carpark so I could “entertain him” while he waited for his friend. Downstairs in the car park, something happened between us. We made friends, we were flirting, something. I don’t know, because it wasn’t really a private place. So many people passed by and we were interrupted, I think a bit reluctantly on both our parts, by this slightly obnoxious guy. However, Obnoxious Dude provided fodder for discourse that showed Hottie’s BRAIN!
All I can tell you is that it’s been a long time since I’ve had a physical reaction to someone like that. Always has to be fuelled by intelligence it seems. The whole time we were talking, there was this undercurrent that was elusive, but something I couldn’t help but notice. I was fascinated by his mouth, but tried very hard not to be obvious in my gaping. In fact, I spent the whole time trying very hard not to be obvious, in any way; trying not to come on too strong. I was also a little nervous at a couple points, when I realised he still looking at me quite a bit.
Lawdy…. It’s been almost since 24 hours since then, and I’m almost ashamed to say that I have been crushing. Seriously crushing! I wanted to call him last night when I got home, but I had no number. I had his riding partner’s number, but ultimately decided not to call and hunt.
I don’t know why. I guess I’d like to know what he thinks about me first, but I’m also afraid of rejection. I know that doesn’t sound like the kind of confident type of projection that I normally have. With guys, I can sometimes feel a little skittish.
I’m already horny as hell, and I’ve made all these declarations about sex and what I need to feel comfortable enough to really allow myself to fall in love with someone. (See Pussy Control)
The first time I saw him, in my head my pussy went, “Hello Nurse!” but my heart, those places that were bruised and still recovering from the last year, throbbed.
I am attracted to the chase. I have in the past, made the first move, and it’s a gamble. However, I accept that these things are gambles. So I’m wondering if I should gamble in this case.
I would like to think that the whole thing was or is Osun’s work. Love, sex, attraction, femininity, sensuality, all that is Osun’s business. I am also wondering if him showing up when he did wasn’t her work. If I call him, am I just being true to my Osun-ness? Is my delay my father, Baba Orunmila’s work? (Knowledge=Osun, Wisdom=Orunmila.) Should I just leave this to the Universe, or should I reach out and ask for what I want.
What is interesting to me is that he had a brain. We talked about stuff. I for some reason, told him bits of my life story. He listened, and looked and told me to continue when I got self conscious.
His mouth! He has the most beautiful mouth!
I am in a mess!
I’m supposed to be going down to Mayaro to lime with some friends from work tomorrow. I’m wondering if I should call him and invite him to come with us. I just want to know if his conversation stays interesting the longer we talk.
At any rate, yesterday was the best day of this year so far.