Well whatever the reasons, my life is again in motion.
Change and the constancy of it are blowing it’s way through my world. Mama Oya, the Mother of Change, the Warrior Queen, the Man-Woman, the Mother of the Wind, the Mother of the Ancestors, has really been felt over the last year.
I danced for her, sang for her, invited her force and energy into my life, and I have been riding her coat tails ever since.
What has it meant? To be one person, and yet changing into another. To get a glimpse of who you are, who you’ve been, who you want to be. To learn how to let go and hold on. What has it meant to me to know that the suddeness and painfulness of the Changes, have been both beautiful, frightening, awe inspiring, actualising, a fundamental learning experience.
What would it mean to you? I’ve keep this journal now for a year. Tonight is a year since I began to pour my soul into binary and in truth, this has been my most faithful journal. I have never been so faithful to a process as I have been to writing in this journal.
My first post, like so many first posts, was a dazed, fumbling, unsure experience. Now, when I have the time to devote to it, I craft my words and place them here for the consumption of my family, friends, lovers (current and former), cyberpals, and other strangers.
I have written in here both fear-filled and fearlessly, exposing as much of my internal world as I could, as I dared and even then, maybe more than I should have. I have chronicled the aching of heartbreak, my fury at being underestimated and undervalued by people living far into their fear, and I have written here about my glories and my triumphs.
I’ve kept my favourites list, and my blog roll. I’ve developed a little cult following, and joined a few cults myself. I have joined the blogosphere, embraced it, I enjoy it.
When I think about it, I was waiting for it to happen my whole life. A mechanism to empower my voice. To write my words and reach people, to reach out to people. To help to change the world. To leave my mark on it, by merely sharing my story with people.
My senses have heightened, and I have become an acute observer of myself and my world. I have questioned myself, and the trappings of my world.
I have been immensely aided by being able to share in this space. I appreciate all of you who come and read regularly, who offer feedback and comments; those of you who engage in dialogue.
On this first anniversary of “The Goddess Room”, I recommit myself to writing fearlessly and without reservation about my life and my world.
I recommit this space to developing my abilities, sharing my perceptions, offering perspectives on the world, sharing my world view as well as whatever wisdom I have gained in my thrity years of life.
Above all, I rededicate this space to a celebration of my life. I will continue to use this space to celebrate my existence and the existence of unconditional love, beauty, abundance and the gorgeous sensuality that is my life, my internal self and my outward interaction with the world as well. I do not mean this in a narcissistic way. I mean I want this place to be somewhere, where I can share the joy I see in the world, also the pleasure I take in knowing I am alive and kicking, and above all growing.
Thank you to the blogosphere for such an enriching experience.
THANK YOU! MODUPE! MODUPE! MODUPE!
Modupe Oludumare, for being the duality in all, the energy that fills the spaces between my cells, and helps to animate me and keep me seeking the light. Modupe Mama/Baba! Adupe! Mojuba Olorun!
Modupe to Mama Osun for all Her many blessings to me in my life. Modupe to my Sweet and Loving Mother. The beautiful lady who gathers me to her, and whispers her guidance to me. Zigging me when I need to zig, and zagging me when necessary. Modupe Mama for the palpability of your presence!
Modupe to Baba Ifa for being the Wisdom in me, and for protecting me, steering me and guiding me.
Modupe to my Egun, for protecting me, and being the shoulders I stand on.
Modupe to Mama Yemoja, for the open arms of maternal love, for the five little fishes who swam with me in Barbados, and for protecting me always.
Modupe to Baba Ogun, who opened the road for me, who cleared the road for the beginning of my healing process, and for taking me to Iya Joan, and to Astra and to Nicholas.
Modupe Mama Oya. Modupe Mama, Modupe. Thank you for changing me, changing my circumstances, and for the ongoing changes you are bringing forth. Thank you for your efforts to whittle away the dead, stagnant parts of myself and my life, and for changing all for my growth, changing all for my development. It may have hurt me in the moment, but I am profoundly grateful for your work on my behalf.
Modupe to Baba Esu who opened doors and showed me the right road to walk on.
Modupe to Papa Osayin, for being the herbs and trees, for allowing me so much experience with Nature over the last two years, and for being the medium and facilitator of so much healing in my body.
Modupe to Baba Sango, who I know is looking out for me like he said he would.
Modupe Ori…. my heart, my soul, my mind. Bless me with my blessings. Help me to continue to seek growth, truth. Help me to accept success, to seek out the paths to success fearlessly.
Modupe Gbogbo Orisa.
Ase Ase Ase.