The Cat In The Bag

Three nights ago, I dreamt I was in the flat here by Mahie in Marble Arch.

I was sleeping when I heard Mahie come in, and I got up to say hello. Her two other roommates were there.

I went into my bag to get something and found a little kitten stowed away inside.

I picked it up and cuddled it, and it responded to me with complete trust.

At some point I went into Mahie’s room, and there on the floor was my favourite cat-companion ever, lying on the floor, feeding the four kittens she brought into the world, and became our cat-companions after their mother was run over by a car.

The little kitten was in my arms, and when it saw the mother cat and other kittens, it reacted with a kind of terror. It dug it’s claws into my hand and tried to scramble up my arm onto my shoulder.  The mother cat, lay there purring and feeding her young.

I tried to calm it down, it’s little heart was beating so fast, and it looked around wildly looking for a way to escape.

Then I woke up.

—–

Dreaming of a cat means two things:

1) A betrayal by someone you trust.

2) A growth in intuition, the growth of psychic powers and a reconnection with the feminine principle within oneself.

We Must Believe, We Must Believe

posted Wed, 01 Dec 2004 22:11:44 -0800

A couple of nights ago, when I was pondering if I could afford to live in a hostel for a couple of weeks, you will never guess who called me.

Monilove.

At first I was withdrawn.

She gave me some explanation about being busy the last couple of weeks and not having any credit on her phone to call me since our last conversation some weeks back.

I said nothing. She asked me where I was staying, I said to her I had been staying with my cousin in Essex, and that I was currently in Marble Arch because of the Bromley gig.

I told her that I didn’t know what was going to happen after tonight, because after that I officially had nowhere to go.

She said, “So you need a place to stay,” in an almost thinking-out-loud kind of way.

“Very badly,” was all I said.

“Well I don’t have much credit on my phone, so I can’t talk long, but call me tomorrow night.”

I called her last night.

She says, “Well, I guess you could stay here.

“For how long you said?”

“Until Christmas, two weeks or so.”

“Well, I’m leaving to go to New York on Saturday, and T (the roommate) is coming back on the 28th (she’s gone home for the holidays), so it’s okay. But after this, you’re really going to have to get yourself organised, because you can’t really be up here in London with no place to live.”

Then she goes on to say, “You know, in a way I feel like I’m being mean to you because I can’t take you in the way a friend should. You know, I can’t make those choices, I don’t live by myself you know?”

I said absolutely nothing.

Then she goes on to say, “It just seems to me like you’re moving around alot, and you can’t be bouncing from one place to the next.”

Then I had to speak, “What do you mean? I’ve been in England for four months; three weeks I spent with you, two and half…”

She interupted me.

“Let me finish what I was going to say,” I said firmly but gently.

I continued, “Almost three months I spent in Kent, and one and half weeks in Essex. That’s not bouncing around.”

Then she went on to say, I should have organised somewhere to live before I came to England, and blah, blah, blah.

I not once said anything that could be contrued as retaliatory, nasty or even defensive.

Then she says, “Are you understanding me?”

I said, measured and calm, sitting outside shivering on the fire escape, looking at the lights of the apartments across the street and the people moving in them, “I understand. I’m hearing you at least.”

Then we wrapped up the conversation.

So I’m going to stay with monilove for the rest of my time working here in London.

I’m even more hurt and angry by this latest conversation than ever.

However, I am maintaining my belief in keeping a cool head in all situations. Cool head, cool head, cool head. Staying calm, staying focussed, staying alert and aware.

The first night I came up to Marble Arch, I dreamt this weird dream. I’m making it a separate entry, so I can add it to my dream journal.