I must admit it, I feel quite bored.
I just walked down to the Cruise Ship Complex and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow morning to get my nails filled in.
I am feeling a little miserable so I think I am going to get a pedicure too. There’s something about my toes being pretty that always makes me feel better.
I am so lonely.
Today my visiting Baba asked me if I was sure that I wanted Sweet Thing. In my heart of hearts I knew the answer was yes, but then all the surface shit is screaming this and that and I don’t know if I should even be listen to my traitorous heart in any case.
I am so used to listening to my head but my heart has been very hard to ignore in this case. So what else is fucking new, right?
I had a serious panic attack on Saturday…. I just don’t understand what is happening and wanted some kind of response or release from him (naturally, none was forthcoming) and spent the better part of the last two or three days up to my elbow in code.
I have been re-installing things in my online community Tribe Life, and I am quite pleased with my work.
I would really like to see Sunhead grow and start sustaining itself. I would also like to see the community grow and develop on it’s own. I think the fact that the same handful of people keep supporting my efforts is a good thing…. I love my little community. each and every one and I think they love me, I just wish someone would invest some money so I can stop paying for all this hosting and domain names out of pocket.
It truly is a labour of love, Sunhead, Tribe Life; one I have both been driven by as well as willingly enslaved to.
Panic attacks can be quite useful I think, certainly the Tribers have a whole lot of new features to thank it for.
The truth is I am bored shitless. My job is drudgery itself, and well there isn’t even regular good sex to offset the mundane in my life. I am also still sick for some reason. I am nasal and coughing.
Maybe it’s the cramps that have me so ‘off’ today…. but even Miss Mary Sunshine needs to take a rest and lets the clouds cover the sky from time to time.