YMK and I have been playing email tag the last few days.
It’s been tentative, but pleasant.
He’s been very supportive and encouraging regarding the job and being here in England.
No talk about me and him of course, but he is you know, living and so am I.
He said he admired my strength as a woman, and that he’s praying for me and the job. He says no matter what I do, he’s watching me and behind me 100%. He says I’m always in his thoughts and prayers.
It’s nice to know he’s still thinking about me…
I think he and I will see each other again, but I don’t know what is happening right now with us.
I do know I’m getting invites out for dates and such. There’s a really nice Nigerian fella (a different one to the one I met when I first came here) who’s asked me out, and is calling me, but I have gotten it together as yet.
I can’t tell you if I’m open to meeting someone else right now, or if I’m not.
I can tell you I still think about YMK, and miss him, and wonder how he is and how he’s going…
Despite my distress a couple weeks ago, it’s not like we were angry with each other… we didn’t fight. I snapped and he snapped back. Then we backed off.
So it’s not like there was this deep vein of animosity between us… not guttaperk, no animosity at all.
Here’s another bit of a kicker… a very old friend, someone I’ve been friends with since childhood, confessed in an email last night that he always wanted to make love with me. Those were his words.
It was a shock, and yet not a shock, because even when we were kids there was a kind of ‘connection’ between us. He used to take care of me, feed me when I was hungry, and no one could beat me up or tease me when he was around.
By the time we were teenagers, we had one outing you could call a ‘date’ when we were fifteen, but you know nothing really happened.
By the time we made a connection again, we were adults and he was married with children, and I was off doing my lonely flower thing… but always, always I could sense this attraction to one another.
He really surprised me by admitting to it, but he told me in the email, that the only reason he was telling me was because I was so far away and couldn’t chastise him.
I tell ya, I got fellas liking me to the left and the right… I have nothing else to say about this right now.