My birthday is a mere three weeks away now. I’m a little stunned, but then I always get a little stunned around my birthday.
I’m going to be (ACKKK!) 31.
As always this is my deep self examination time. Personally, this year, like all others in the last decade, I am feeling my loneliness.
Contemplating the number of my friends who have paired off, those who have had children and how come I haven’t been able to do that.
A few weeks ago I went to see a babalawo here in London. (Did I write about that? I can’t remember.) Mostly it was about getting my One Hand of Ifa sorted out, which while not critical is still quite important.
I was told to stop worrying, and to stop telling out my business; not to talk too much with people about projects I’m undertaking.
I was also told not to get too picky about men.
Except, is having standards being too picky?
Is being picky caused me to be alone for so long? I want children… I really want babies… a little person that looks like me and someone else.
I am really longing for a house and a family of my own. I think maybe this is what is missing from my life, and i fdodon’t even know where to begin to insert that… men are so fucked up, and taking a risk in this day and age just seems stupid and juvenile, and well 31 is too old for that isn’t it?
Expet more pondering like this coming down to the day itself… April 13 for those who are interested. Planning another Winnie The Pooh cake this year…