I’ve been watching my blog go up to and right on past 85,000 hits and am reflecting on the fact that my blog turns two years old tomorrow. I do more than think. I’m actually quite pleased to see this. This journal is the most consistent thing in my life. No house, no job, no friend, no family, no man has been as consistent as this blog has been since April 29, 2003.
I’ve kept journals before, but none as consistently as this one. Some are more personal, tell more of my story, but that’s not the kind of writing I am willing to share. This however, I treat as a kind of pool for all the ideas, experiences, fears; triumphs, glories, travails and observation that I can. The Goddess Room is both balm and pressure point for me.
I want to tell you that you get everything I have to tell, but in fact I couldn’t and don’t write everything down. However, I am compelled to keep writing in this space.
I’m afraid sometimes I am boring. That I am not being clever enough; expressing enough of the things I think. I feel sometimes I am lazy. I’ve become lazy. Where are my 9,000 word writings? Where are my posts so long I had to break them up across 6 posts? I am lucky to manage 800 in a post these days. I blame first the lack of a computer to work on. I mean something that’s mine, and I can use want I want to express what I really want to. I blame second, lack of time.
When would I write? On the train? With all these people around me, and with all kinds of people I know and work with on the train. That’s actually my only inside my head time I have, but you know, just not onto that writing on the train. At work? I am paranoid about it and try not to commit thought to binary on a work laptop.
In any case, my life right now is reduced to dull mundane commuting, big corporate employed-by scenario. There’s nothing really interesting about it, and in any case it would be indiscreet to discuss it in such a public space.
I feel like I am rambling a little, but in truth this is a celebration of two years of consistent writing, no matter how piddling and insubstantial, no matter the body of good stuff I’ve produced in this space. I don’t know what it is about my blog that I find both time and words to pour into it. I don’t know what it is, but two years on, I’m still here; still at it and showing no signs of cessation.
I’m excited about tomorrow. Truly. I want to go and stand on Regent St. and report what’s going on. I’ve been reading Mac magazines and Apple rumour sites obsessively for the last four months, and you know, I’m excited by this. For me it’s great to be a part of Apple history.
Mahie is lending me her camera, I’m going armed with a book and something I can sit on and my iPod, and I am going to line up. Pity Mahie won’t be coming (exam pressure in ya scrunny, oui?) but I will take pictures! And blog damnit!
I plan to have a drink tonight, and enjoy the beginning of a hard earned four-day ‘me’ fest.
So if allyuh feeling me, raise your glass and toast a milestone in my life.