This would gel very nicely, as I could put my stuff in storage or stash them by a friend for a couple of weeks and come back to London with enough money to setup again, although probably not last very long.
At this point, I am just trying to do what I can to survive until something better comes along.
Tomorrow too, I have a meeting with a woman to discuss some redevelopment plans for a web site. That might actually turn out to give me some extra money.
I cried from Thursday night, until Monday afternoon. My heart is aching from loneliness. I am tired of fighting these battles, this war on my own. I am exhausted.
I begun a spiritual investigation. One that involved me calling Astra long distance, and going to see a priest.
Some of you, the regulars mind you, may remember me writing that there was a spiritual attack I have been fighting for a decade without surcease. I thought that when I left Trinidad last year, that I had left ti behind me and the spiritual work that I had done, a number of baths, other ritual work, had cleared it off. I mean my ability to get to England was due to that effort.
However, it seems it hasn’t been completely cleared. This is why I guess I have been having so much difficulty since I’ve been in England. Over the last four months, I’ve been seeking the counsel of a qualified babalawo, and doing a series of rituals and ebbos seeking assistance and help to address and understand some of the problems I have been having.
I guess I’m starting to see some results. I am hoping that things will settle down soon. I think I may have found a place I can stay for a few weeks, it’ll be a pinch to pay for it, but I have enough I can do it if the contract in Cambridge doesn’t happen.
So let’s just say, that although things are grim, I can continue to report that all is not lost.
I am sad, I am depressed, but I am not out of the running yet.
I just know in my heart that I can’t take much more of this. I am going to fall apart if things don’t settle down soon. Mentally, emotionally and spiritually I really don’t have too much more fight in me. I need an infusion of fresh love, fresh money, stability, truth honesty, unconditional acceptance. I need an opportunity to regenerate.
The loneliness is going to kill my spirit soon.
May I send nuff respect to blamemike who gamely offered his hand in marriage, along with his good looks and wealth, at a moment where I needed someone to offer me their world on a platter. :laughing:
At least I stopped crying.
And I have to go bathe, because the person coming to look at the flat, is coming soon.