In the beginning, God/dess said, “Let there be light…” and there was light. Light was not the beginning. In the beginning there was thought, and then voice and then action.
I learnt this way back in Sunday School from possibly the only really spiritual Sunday School teacher I had. She was one of those women that played an enormous role in my life, and while she CLAIMS I drove her crazy, she still loves me like her own to this day.
That lesson–along with so many others she gave to me–stuck with me and to me. Although it would be well over 30 years before I ‘got it’. It’s quite possible she didn’t get it then either, and was just repeating Catholic catechism because that is what she was trained to do. However, I lean towards taking the good in everything and putting it to use.
Last year, I traded some waist beads for a chance to participate in My Empowerment, My Way’s Goddess Series of developmental workshops. I had been keen to go and participate for well over a year, much in the same way I was keen to do Katrina’s Goddess Egg Playshop, and am now very keen to do Unas Nawur Ka Ankh’s Qi Gong and Khemtic Yoga courses.
While setting goals and intentions, and meeting them, are not unfamiliar to me, it was in both Kat and Ayesha’s respective workshops that I began to understand how I had been doing things wrong.
Hear what, nothing I learnt in that workshop was new to me… I had heard it all before but I had not applied the things I knew, and there is something powerful that happens when women sit in a circle and talk. Regardless, the second session was when it happened, like a bolt of lightning.
We were asked to write a letter to ourselves in our journals. To use only POSITIVE language, and to ask for EVERYTHING we wanted. We were also asked to write down affirmations.
Among the things I requested was an iPhone 5 and a ‘new Macbook’. In less than ten days, I had a new iPhone 5 (that I paid $16BDS for but that’s another story). In less than six weeks I was working on a MacBook Pro (not mine, not new, but new to me though).
My point is this… nine days after I wrote down: I have an iPhone 5, I had an iPhone 5. This piqued my interest entirely, and between reading about affirmations and being surrounded by women working with the power of the word, something dramatic and real continued to shift in me. Change is most often a long slow process, and rarely is it sudden. Mafererun Oya, Sudden Change in my life is largely mediated.
Of course, the affirmations and the iPhone 5 are not the beginning of this story. This is one I began to tell in “Waistbeads & Websites” over at keffigal.com. The true shift began in April of 2011 and has continued unabated, but February 2012 was the AHA moment of the MIND shift I have been experiencing.
What happened for me was that I realized in an instant how I had been programming myself for failure. I had this amazing skill with the written word, and I had been creating my own misery for as long as I could remember. I went back and re-read journals from 20 years ago, and saw clearly how the things I had been writing down shaped the reality I lived with. In the binary code for this blog, deep in it’s now almost twelve year life, I have seen how I have created my own unhappiness. Ayesha said during the session last February, “75% of what we write down comes to pass… ”
My heart said, “I can make that 90%,” and “How could I have done that to myself?”
So what followed was a singular experience in journalling for me. I have said in this blog over and over than journalling for me is an internal dialogue. I tell myself my own story, and I was sick of the same old fucking story. Mostly I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and it was time for me to move on to something else, truly allow the ME I love to breathe and live.
My self-talk changed first in my journal. So instead of telling myself about all the fuckery I was dealing with, I started focussing my dead-tree journalling on where I WANTED to go. Where I wanted to be.
So that’s what I did… bolstered by the bandied about information that 75% of what I was writing was real, I began to mould and bend my reality for real. So for months this is what I did. I affirmed the job I thought I wanted. I affirmed the relationship I wanted. I affirmed the living space I wanted. I affirmed much, and some of it (quite a bit indeed) did come to pass. Yet, it was still this enormous push with very little gelling and smooth motions. It was still too herky jerky, one step forward, two steps back for my tastes.
Still, instead of moaning for years like I did about leaving Barbados, I actually did it. I got rid of the vast majority of my possessions, divesting myself of things long unnecessary and I withdrew my son from school got on a plane and left Barbados for good in January of 2014. On faith and AFFIRMATION.
When I moved back here in 1993, by 1994 I was in therapy… therapy that saved my life. When I came back in 2002, I spent a lot of time LOVING on me. I did yoga, I painted my nails and had pedicures. I went hiking. I went dancing. I had a lover. I had a lot of fun. I enjoyed my life. I spent time and money on myself because I could and for no other reason than I wanted to look and feel good.
Finding myself, a decade later, a full 360 degrees from where I was this time of the year in 2004, is a bit of a head teef. But in a good way… I get a kind of healing at home I’ve found nowhere else on earth. There is much to be said for being where you call home. I am able to ground myself in MYSELF when I am at home and that is certainly what has been happening since January. 2014 has been just gorgeous… but those AHA moments kept coming.
So let me give you the moment when I realized that, while my journalling of my affirmations was a brilliant leap forward in my personal development, I was doing THEM all wrong too!!
So I am staying with a dear old friend, and when his friend brought him a book on the fly one evening, and said it was about affirmations etc. Leon mentioned it to me while I sat at my beading table, working on an order. He was working at the time, and with his friend there, he had no time to read it or talk to me about it. So for two hours, I had a chance to look at it.
It is in fact an anthology of books. Four to be precise, “The Game of Life”, “The Power of The Spoken Word”, “Your Word is Your Wand” and “The Secret of Success” all by Florence Scovel Shinn and bound in one volume called “The Wisdom of Florence Scovel Shinn” (ISBN: 0-671-68228-8).
Within the first few minutes of skimming, the hair on the back of my neck was standing up. I felt like I had stuck my finger into an electrical socket. I stood up from the beading table and went to my friend and said, “This book is the TRUTH!” When I handed the book back to him, I repeated it and turned to his friend and thanked her profusely for whatever Spirit in her told her to pick up the book and bring it to us.
Now this book is written by a Christian minister of one sort or another, so I will not comment on my POLITICAL views about Xtianity in this post. I am no fool. I know value in the things God sends my way. I see the Divine in all things, so I immediately and without question accepted that the book came into my life as a missing piece of the puzzle. It is ironic to me it came from a Xtian religious world view, but Spirit goes beyond what you think and affirmations are your thoughts made manifest in this so-called ‘real world’.
This goes beyond just wishing, saying things, and hoping they happen.
Scientists are theorising that the very fabric of ‘reality’ is not ‘real’ but in fact a projection of light, like a hologram. Pibram, Bohr and Bohm especially theorised the Universe was holographic in nature. They found that testing hypotheses alone is not one dimensional or one-way. They found that the very nature of experimentation is subject to observation. As we observe an experiment, IT RESPONDS TO BEING OBSERVED, and almost produces the result the observer desires.
This is DIRECT evidence that affirmation is real, and manifestation is real and that SOMETHING IN THE UNIVERSE IS WATCHING AND LISTENING.
The book all but says this… but I am getting to that.
I picked out, over those two hours (and it’s a good thing, because my friend took back the book and I’ve hardly seen it since) and wrote out all the affirmations that meant anything to me:
I cast the burden of lack on the Divine within and I go free to have plenty!
Infinite Spirit, give me wisdom to make the most of my opportunities. Never let me miss a trick. (Mafererun Ori)
I am always under Divine Inspiration. I know just what to do and give instant obedience to my intuitive leads. (Mafererun Ori)
My angel of destiny goes before me, keeping me in the Way! (Mafererun Ori)
I am a perfect non-resistant instrument for God, to work through and God’s perfect plan for me now comes to pass in a magical way.
I call on the Law of Forgiveness. I am free from mistakes and the consequences of mistakes, I am under grace and not karmic law.
My endless good now comes to me in endless ways.
I have a wonderful joy in a wonderful way, and my wonderful joy has come to stay.
I am harmonious, happy, radiant and detached from the tyranny of fear.
My good now flows to me in a steady, unbroken, ever-increasing stream of happiness. (Mafererun Yemoja! Mafererun Oshun!)
Divine Love, through me, now dissolves all seeming obstacles and makes clear, easy and successful my way. (Mafererun Ogun!)
I now draw from the abundance of the spheres, my immediate and endless supply. All channels are free! All doors are Open! (Mafererun Esu!)
I now release the goldmine within me. I am linked with an endless golden stream of prosperity which comes to me under grace and in perfect ways.
My God/dess is God/dess of PLENTY and I now receive all that I desire or require and more.
All that is mine by Divine Right is now released and reaches me in great avalanches of abundance, under grace and in miraculous ways.
My supply is endless, inexhaustible and immediate and comes to me under grace in perfect ways.
Unexpected doors fly open, unexpected channels are free, and endless avalanches of abundance are poured out upon me, under grace and in perfect ways. (Mafererun Esu!)
I spend money under direct inspiration wisely and fearlessly, knowing my supply is endless and immediate. I am fearless in letting money go out, knowing God is my immediate and endless supply.
I do not resist this situation. I put it in the hands of Infinite Wisdom and Love. Let the Divine Idea now come to pass.
My good now flows to me in a steady, unbroken, ever-increasing stream of success, happiness and abundance.
New fields of Divine activity now open for me and these fields are white with the harvest.
Man’s will is powerless to interfere with God’s will. God’s will is now done in my mind, my body and affairs.
All obstacles now vanish from my pathway. Doors fly open, gates are lifted and I enter the Kingdom of Fulfillment, under grace.
There are no obstacles in Divine Mind, therefore, there is nothing to obstruct my good.
I will not weary of well-doing, for when I least expect it I shall reap.
The genius within me is now released. I now fulfill my destiny.
I banish the past and now live in the wonderful now, where surprises come to me each day.
I have a magical work in a magical way. I give magical service for magical pay.
The tide of Destiny has turned and everything comes my way,
There is no competition on the Spiritual Plane. What is rightfully mine is GIVEN ME UNDER GRACE.
I now let go of worn-out conditions and worn-out things.
Divine order is established in my mind, body and affairs.
“Behold, I make things new.”
My seeming impossible good now comes to pass, the unexpected now happens!
The “four winds of success” now blows to me my own.
From North, South, East and West comes my endless good.
I give thanks for my whirlwind success!
I sweep all before me for I work with the Spirit and follow the Divine Plan of my life.
I am awake to my good, and gather in the harvest of endless opportunities.
I am harmonious, poised and magnetic.
I draw to myself my OWN. My power is God’s power and it is IRRESISTIBLE!
God is my unfailing supply and large sums of money come to me quickly, under grace, in perfect ways.
There is no power in evil. It is nothing, therefore nothing can only come to nothing.
Fear and impatience demagnetizes. Poise magnetized.
I give thanks that I now receive the righteous desires of my heart.
Mountains are removed, valleys exalted and every crooked place made straight.
As I have asked, I must receive.
I deny debt. There is no debt in Divine Mind, therefore I own no man anything. All obligations are now wiped out under grace, in a miraculous way.
I deny debt, no man owes me anything, all is squared. I send forth love and forgiveness.
I am identified in love with the Spirit of ______. God protects my interests and the Divine Idea now comes out of this situation.
My mind, body and affairs are now moulded according to the Divine Pattern within.
I give thanks that I now bring forth from the Universal Substance everything that satisfies all the righteous desires of my heart.
The Divine Design of my life now comes to pass. I now fill the place that I fill and no one else can fill it. I now do the things which I can do and no one else can do.
All doors now open for happy surprises and the Divine Plan for my life is sped up now under grace. (Mafererun Esu!)
I serve only faith and my unlimited abundance is made manifest.
My good overtakes me in a surprising way.
The Divine Plan for my life cannot be tampered with. It is incorruptible and indestructible. It awaits only my recognition.
Hunches are the hounds of Heaven—they lead me in the perfect way.
All things I seek are now seeking me.
I am an irresistible magnet for cheques, PayPal payments, bank deposits, transfers and for cash in five currencies–for everything that belongs to me by Divine Right
The Law of The Universe is The Law of Increase and I give thanks now for increase, under grace in perfect ways.
I dwell in a Sea of Abundance. I see clearly my inexhaustible supply. I see clearly just what to do.
My “World of Wondrous” now swings into manifestation and I enter my Promised Land under grace.
Great peace have I who love thy law of nonresistance and nothing shall offend me.
Thou art in me, thou in me art Inspiration, Revelation and Illumination.
Bless all my money as it enters the world.
By now, you like me will have picked up a pattern. The book is FILLED with other affirmations. These are just the ones that speak to me deeply.
What I was missing, the puzzle piece I hadn’t quite found and fit into place, it was this part “under grace” and this part “Divine Plan”. The ‘something’ out there listening, the ‘something’ that HEARS ME, LOVES ME, and She only wants me to be happy, it’s me that didn’t understand. It was always me. She sent person after person to tell me this over the years. I heard it a dozen different ways, in a dozen different accents, and even when I began to understand, I kept leaving Her out of the equation.
Once I accepted that God is where all this flows from, I changed. I CHANGED! My journalling changed… and the written dialogue, changed into an internal dialogue. I am still continuing to affirm my life, however again the nature of my self-talk changed to include the Divine into my self-view. Because I AM Divine. I am at one with the Divine, and syncing with that energy takes enormous SELF trust and SELF will and faith and consistency. Yet, from somewhere it happened and continues to happen to me. GIVE THANKS!
The moment I realized that I had changed, my life changed and this started to work. Things began to work for me. Of course, journalling and making my thought energy into voice/sound energy and then into reality, takes practise and I am still learning. It gets easier though… a lot easier the more I do it.
The Glowing Goddesses hear me in the WhatsApp chat TESTIFYING regularly… and this post is directly for them, as they asked me to post the affirmations. Since I accept that I am here to heal, first myself and then to help others, here it is ladies…
In the two months and change since I began working with these–some more than others and all paraphrased to suit my life–I have seen the change in myself go from creeping to running and soon, very soon now, I feel it gathering force to leave the earth, and gravity behind.
Share your thoughts with me! I’d like to hear what ya’ll think!!! If you are working with affirmations and the power of the Word, please share your experiences with me… if this post helps YOU, tell me!! I are is comment pig.
EVERYTHING in Divine time! This was a great read (despite a few typos 🙂 )…I see your growth, and I am happy to be your sista-goddess-friend. Tnx for the affirmations! May they continue to bring you great fortune! ~ <3 ~
I am correcting the typos… was mostly written between 11.45pm and 1.55am this morning!!! LOL!!
Thanks for the love! Thanks for everything, especially being YOU!!!
N'Delamiko Bey ….correction: …bring US great fortune 😉
KAtrina 'Itrina' Ifill , my victory is hollow without ya'll. Let's all go forward together Yeye!
Thank you again and sorry for the nagging….hugs
Thank you Beloved!!! <3
Oh it is always a pleasure to write… and about this? It was an honour to share…
i read this and for some reason I cried,Ayesha changed my life and I don't think she even knows it. I am grateful for the encounters I have with such amazing Goddesses. Thank you……makes me think about the way I journal. AFFRIMATIONS…..:) give thanks
Give thanks!! Esh, is the shit… no doubt about it!! 🙂